The Levine Machine

The Levine Machine

@Eitanthegoalie

Followers2.7K
Following2.4K

If you can dream it, you can Levine it. True story: I won the 2019 #AVN Award for Best Clever Title for Hamiltoe. Also, once DJ Khaled offered me a waffle fry.

ÜT: 40.846557,-73.927
Joined on April 24, 2009

Statistics

We looked inside some of the tweets by @Eitanthegoalie and here's what we found interesting.

Inside 100 Tweets

Time between tweets:
2 days
Average replies
1
Average retweets
3
Average likes
16
Tweets with photos
33 / 100
Tweets with videos
5 / 100
Tweets with links
0 / 100

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Adam Levine's body looks like the vision board of a bro who owns a vape shop.

Adam Levine's body looks like the vision board of a bro who owns a vape shop.

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161

Quoted @mynameisntdave

Last night, @Eitanthegoalie and I lip-synched for our fuckin LIVES at Gayme Show. Thank you @MattRogersTho and @davemizzoni for having us on the most fun show and thanks to @taylor_ortega and @zzdoublezz for your eternal guidance. #DrinkAndDrive 🎥: @Milbermann

Last night, @Eitanthegoalie and I lip-synched for our fuckin LIVES at Gayme Show. Thank you @MattRogersTho and @davemizzoni for having us on the most fun show and thanks to @taylor_ortega and @zzdoublezz for your eternal guidance. #DrinkAndDrive

🎥: @Milbermann

This was the night of my damn life. @mynameisntdave is the queen of the straights and a title has never been more deserved. @davemizzoni and @MattRogersTho are dream-makers. I got to lip sync for my life. I died but also never felt more alive.

This high school production of Alien is incredible. 

@mynameisntdave @Eitanthegoalie @gaymeshowNY – at Caveat

This high school production of Alien is incredible. @mynameisntdave @Eitanthegoalie @gaymeshowNY – at Caveat

We’ve talked about you in the group chat.

We’ve talked about you in the group chat.

This is tonight! I am back in NYC for literally hours! I must be present for the crowning if the new Queen of the Straights! TIX: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/gayme-show-tickets-53036903807 …

This is tonight! I am back in NYC for literally hours! I must be present for the crowning if the new Queen of the Straights! TIX: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/gayme-show-tickets-53036903807 …

What if the one finding in the Mueller Report was just that Covfefe isnt a real word?

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Nail-biter between Liberty and Miss. State rn! All tied up at Niceeee to Niceeeeee! #MarchMadness

Nail-biter between Liberty and Miss. State rn! All tied up at Niceeee to Niceeeeee! #MarchMadness

Quoted @davemizzoni

SUNDAY we THRIVE! Gayme Show is all new @caveatnyc!

SUNDAY we THRIVE! Gayme Show is all new @caveatnyc!

This Sunday I compete with @mynameisntdave in the exact opposite of #marchmadness

Men: Spank Bank Ladies: Her Majesty's Library

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This Lauren Duca article on @Jezebel is http://Babe.net -level stuff.

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Jezebel is trash. That Lauren Duca article did not need to be written. This article is a stretch and they know it. @Jezebel just writing takedown pieces for the sake of writing takedown pieces now?

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FYI: There is a professional cricket team named the Mumbai Indians and it's not offensive because they're actually Indians. Also, When I get mega wealthy I'm buying a sports team in Jerusalem and naming them "The Israel Big Ol' Jews."

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🎶 Nah nah nah nah Nah nah nah nah Hey hey hey— **record scratch** —HELLO?!🎶 This summer, Kevin James is “The Walmart Greeter”

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If CNN werent cowards they would call her by her REAL name: Alexandria Ocasio-Hussein-Cortez

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Purim is a solutions-focused Jewish holiday.

Purim is a solutions-focused Jewish holiday.

*Winter in New York* I don't know if I have crippling anxiety or if I'm just very cold.

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Today I announced that I'm running a comedy festival out of my living room! Apartment Fest is happening April 10th-13th! SUBMISSIONS ARE OPEN NOW! COMEDIANS, APPLY! (yes this is a real thing)

Details and submission link:
https://goo.gl/forms/g624cULhHLk5OdZd2 …

Today I announced that I'm running a comedy festival out of my living room! Apartment Fest is happening April 10th-13th! SUBMISSIONS ARE OPEN NOW! COMEDIANS, APPLY! (yes this is a real thing) Details and submission link: https://goo.gl/forms/g624cULhHLk5OdZd2 …

Tony Soprano is about to personally end the MAGA movement. Mark my words. White Supremacy is about to get Bada Bing'd.

Tony Soprano is about to personally end the MAGA movement. Mark my words. White Supremacy is about to get Bada Bing'd.

What's fun about New York is that I frequently walk by dogs wearing nicer clothes than I have.

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24

Happy Irish Purim, everybody! #StPatricksDay

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Dance like nobody is watching. Sing like nobody is listening. Laugh like you're on a podcast.

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